53 'Squeaky-Clean' Cleaning Jokes To Wash Your Worries Away

What’s that popular meme that’s been making the rounds on social media for years? “Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.” Or there’s this one: “Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” That one is actually a quote from Phyllis Diller from her 1966 book Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints — and it still rings true, even today. In fact, it’s been the inspiration for many a funny meme on every social platform. The reason those quotes are shared so much is that they are so freaking relatable! It’s for that very same reason that cleaning jokes and puns are so popular. Plus, you know, laughing about cleaning makes it suck a little less.

In the spirit of commiserating over the woes of keeping house, we’ve swept up a collection of cleaning jokes, puns, and one-liners for your reading pleasure. Once you’ve had a hearty laugh and you’re ready to spruce up your space, check out our guides on cleaning a couch, washing a down comforter, washing stuffed animals, and getting crayon off the walls. If your kids resist chores, make it fun! Get them in on the cleaning pun action by showing them this list (yes, the jokes are all clean). Once everyone has enjoyed a feel-good belly laugh, turn up the tunes and tackle the housework together.

Ready for some rib-tickling cleaning jokes? Read on!

Best Cleaning Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners

He wanted to make a “clean” getaway.

Come to think of it, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.

“I’m so tired of people pushing us around.”

Woman: “That’s fantastic! Give me two.”

It’s just something I could really see myself doing.

I’m going to lay down until the feeling passes.


Sorry if that’s a sweeping generalization.

When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.

It over-swept.

They dribble everywhere.

It’s sweeping the nation.

A mer-maid.

Using a Squeegee board.

There’s no training — you just pick it up as you go along.

Yeah, I made it up.

They’ve just been getting bad press.

That he was “predisposed.”


The Prontosaurus.

In the end, I threw in the towel.

“Rub-it! Rub-it! Rub-it!”

53 'Squeaky-Clean' Cleaning Jokes To Wash Your Worries Away

I became worried that he might get caught for money laundering.

It’s been collecting dirt on you for years.

But why take the chance?


My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. But when he came back from work, the tables had turned.

They sound super clean.

Now I feel so drained.

He is a knife guy.

They’re hardly ever in sink.

I witnessed it all unfold.

It was just collecting dust.

You better catch it before it gets away!

“I’ll catch you the second time around.”

They were just not ready to Lego of them.

Now, they call him the spin doctor.

It becomes a war-drobe.

Dad: “What do you mean?” Teen: “It sucks.” Dad: “Well, there is always Roomba improvement.”

I told her that I’ve got loads of them.

But it’s all just water under the fridge now.

“You look flushed.”

You should just washer and dryer.

“It’s time to go to sweep!”

Tell her, “You missed a spot!”

Things are picking up.

After listening carefully, the son replied, “Dad, I think it’s time to throw in the towels.”

“Another Fights the Dust.”

Adult daughter: “My house isn’t messy. I’ve set up obstacles for any burglars.”

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